Movie Review - The Happening (Expanded edition)

I saw this a few days ago. I might be the last movie patron in America who still has patience for M. Night Shamalyan.

I loved Sixth Sense (Holy shit dude, he's dead!)
I loved The Village (Holy shit dude, it's not the 17th century!)
I loved Unbreakable (Holy shit dude, it's a super hero origin story!)

In the middle of these was Signs, which I only mildly liked, mainly because the coincindences in the plot were just a little too much for me. It was like he was trying to be *too* clever, and that really never works.

Then came Lady in the Water. Great cast. Decent concept. Piss Poor execution. Ok, I thought, everyone deserves a whiff now and again. We can't hit them all out of the park.

And then this piece of shit. The Happening is one of the WORST films I've ever seen. Mark Wahlberg, usually a dependably good actor, phones in his performance throughout the whole movie. The plot "twist" is told to the viewers in the first 15 minutes. John Leguizamo co-stars for about 5 minutes. There's no character development, no suspense, no surprise. It's a whole bowl of nothing.

Mr. Shamalyan is going to have to pull a monster out of his ass to get me to see another one of his films.

Oh yeah, the spoiler. The big "twist" in the movie is that the plants of the world are getting together to kill people. That's it.

See? You didn't miss much.