Sometimes you beat the Salami

And sometimes the Salami beats you.

Yeah, yeah. It's a double entendre. Get over it, sophmoric children.

So I dropped a G over at the Salami club tonight. Quite a few of the Wall Street crew were on hand to witness the drubbing (Dennis, Darko, Viv, W and 'Git'). They can all attest that I played every hand correctly, with the possible exception of one.

Which is why I don't feel awful about it right now. Even though this is my single greatest cash loss session of my career, I didn't play any hands particularly poorly.

Here's a recap of my greatest 'hits':
1. After building my $400 buyin to $800, I get KK in late position. It limps to me in the cutoff and I raise to $35, getting 3 callers along the way. Flop is JT9. It checks to me and I bet out $100. I get one caller. Turn is a 7. He checks. I bet out $75 and he comes over the top to put me all in. I fold my KK and he shows a single 9. I can only put him on a set of 9's or, at the very least, two pair. Q9 is a possibility, but the only scenario in which I'm winning, in my opinion.

2. The VERY NEXT HAND, I pick up AA. This time, when it limps to me, I bet $50 on top and get a single caller. The flop is a craptacular 9sTs4s. He checks. I bet out $75, he calls. Turn is a red J. This is where I misplayed it. He moved all in for about $300 and I called. I put him on QQ, given his large preflop call, when I should have been resigned to the fact that, of course, he had a set. In this case, it was TT.

3. After turning $800 into $100 in two successive hands, I rebuy for some more chips but see that dwindle down to $100 after not connecting with anything I have. PF raises to $25 and $30 are very common, so it's expensive to see flops.

4. I nearly shoot myself when I miss an opportunity to make $1000. I have AQo on the button. Someone in EP raises to $25. Someone in the middle calls. I call on the button. Dennis, in the SB, raises to $75 straight. Both players call. I elect to muck. My intuition tells me that Dennis has a category one hand (AA, KK, AK, AQ), any one of which have me crushed. Yes, I'm tied with the AQ if he has that, but he has the advantage of being the PF raiser so if he continuation bets the flop and I miss, I can't call. I'm getting 6-1 to call the $50, but my feeling is it's only good with a perfect flop (a naked queen beats AK, or QQ on the flop or a flopped straight). Woudln't you know it? The flop is TJK with two spades. I nearly puked when Dennis bet out $200 and everyone folded. The only consolation I have is knowing that he probably had a set and would most likely have boated up! :-(

5. I get moved to the main table with my paltry $125 but manage to triple it up when my KJ gets paid off on a flop of JJ8. (OMG, a bright spot).

6. Now I'm back up to $400 in chips (only down $600 at this point...grrrr) when I get KsJs. I call a PF raise to $20 and 5 players come in. The flop is an awe-inspiring Kh6s7s. I flop top pair, good kicker and a King flush draw! I bet out $75 into the pot and get one caller. The turn is a brick. I bet out $100, he calls. The river is a brick. I check and he leads out for $75. No way I can avoid paying him off since it looks like I missed a flush draw. I call and he turns over 67 for flopped bottom two. I can't even COUNT the number of ways I could have won that fucking hand.

7. With my last $175 out of my $1000 roll, I pick up AcKc. I raise to $30 PF and get 4 callers. The flop is Tc8c5s. I have two overs and the nut flush draw. I move all in for my last $141, intending to pick up the $120 pot and get a caller. I ask him if he has a made hand yet, he says no. The turn is a 3s. The river is a 6h. I turn over my hand. He says, "Oh, I got there" and turns over 2c3c! He paired his 3 to plant the final knife and twist it a bit.

So overall, I can't blame myself. For the most part, I got outdrawn in really bad ways. I managed to min-loss some hands that could've have been bad for me. I also managed to squeeze as much money as possible for my two good hands:
1. 3s5s. With four other callers, I call a PF raise to $25 on the button. Flop is A25. It checks to me and I bet $45. One caller. Turn is a four, completing my wheel. I bet $150. He calls. River is a 2d, completing a boat and/or a flush draw. It goes check/check and I take the pot.
2. With JJ in my hand, I flop quads after raising PF to $35 and getting two callers. I check the flop and the turn and bet $50 on the river, getting one caller.

That's it for my good hands. End of list.

Oh well. At least Cody, a living legend, doubled me up for the brief time he was at my table. Off to sleep now. Tomorrow (today?) is another day.